IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You study at a college in the city centre. You use public transport to get to the college but the bus service you use has changed. Write a letter to the manager of the bus company. In the letter, -Say who you are and the details of service you use -Explain the problem with the bus service -Suggest what you think the manager should do

#study #college #city #centre #transport #bus #service #manager #company #-say #-explain #-suggest
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Hello MR Naif , I hope you are doing well . I have been using public transportation since I studied
in
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at
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 University.
However
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, Recently I found some problems with the
bus
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 which I would like to share with you . In the beginning , I am a student at Southern University , And I
use
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used
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 the
bus
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 every day . The
bus
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 usually takes me from the front of my home to the University within 25 minutes ,
However
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 , Nowadays , It takes more than 40 minutes ,
Moreover
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 , Before the
bus
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 stopped almost seven times , But, Now it stops 12 times ,In my opinion, it's too many compare with one
bus
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 ,
Therefore
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 , I have to get up earlier two hours than I used to do , So, You should add one more
bus
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instead
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 of one
bus
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 . Thank you , I am looking forward to hearing back from you . Best regards Tamim Alknhal
Submitted by osama.mezal7 on

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task achievement
Provide a clearer introduction with details about the bus service you are using earlier in the letter.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions to ensure there is a smooth flow from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas so that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, maintaining clarity.
task achievement
The letter effectively explains the problem with the bus service and makes a clear suggestion.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing demonstrate a polite and professional tone suitable for a formal letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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