The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart illustrates the proportion of males and females in Australia holding various post-school qualifications in 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, significant gender differences are evident between different qualification levels.
Men
Use synonyms
outnumber
women
Use synonyms
in three categories,
while
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
surpass
men
Use synonyms
in two. The highest disparity is seen in skilled vocational diplomas, where
men
Use synonyms
dominate overwhelmingly, with approximately 90% compared to just 10% for
women
Use synonyms
. A similar male majority is observed in postgraduate diplomas, with around 70% of holders being
men
Use synonyms
, compared to 30%
women
Use synonyms
. Master's degrees
also
Linking Words
show a male advantage, though the gap is narrower, with approximately 60% male holders and 40% female.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
lead in undergraduate diplomas, making up about 70% of the holders,
whereas
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
account for 30%. In bachelor's degrees, females slightly outnumber males, with roughly 55% and 45%, respectively. In summary, males are more likely to hold qualifications in skilled vocational and advanced postgraduate fields,
whereas
Linking Words
females tend to excel in undergraduate and bachelor's degree programs.
Submitted by happy01.uk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: