IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

big salary os much more important than job satisfaction. do you agree or disagree? provide relevant exapmles if necessary.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued that having a high income is essential to being satisfied in your
job
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.
In contrast
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, I do agree with the statement, that having a decent income is much more important than
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction. First of all,
i
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I
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 believe a high salary is essential. Getting a good decent amount of money will result in self-fulfillment even if the
job
Use synonyms
 is challenging. If an individual is working in hard labour receiving a good payment will feel like a reward making work less difficult.
For instance
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, as a nursing intern , I have a passion towards nursing , but the lack of financial compensation
,
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apply
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creates challenges in fulfilling my duties .
This
Linking Words
 prevents me from thriving in a field I genuinely enjoy. That
why
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is why
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 it's more important to choose a career that provides good income than satisfaction.
Furthermore
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, money is a crucial asset in life, as it enables individuals to provide for themselves and their families. People work primarily and Having
job
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 satisfaction alone cannot fulfill financial responsibilities.
For example
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,
a
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apply
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recent research has shown that many doctors are dissatisfied with their work
due to
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 stress and long hours:
,
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apply
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however
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, high salaries compensate for these challenges, allowing them to stay in their positions.
Thus
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, it demonstrates that financial stability outweighs
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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. In conclusion, I strongly believe that an increase in salary is more beneficial than
job
Use synonyms
 enjoyment, because it not only provides a sense of fulfilment, but it
also
Linking Words
 fills their financial needs and responsibilities.

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task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more comprehensively, ensuring all main points are fully explored. This will enhance the clarity of your arguments and improve your score for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next to improve coherence. Use linking words to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Consider providing more examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which provides a clear structure and strong framework for your arguments.
task achievement
The examples you use are relevant, especially the nursing intern and doctors’ salary discussions, which helps in supporting your opinion.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position, providing a good foundation for the rest of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Job satisfaction
  • Financial security
  • Standard of living
  • Sense of accomplishment
  • Recognition and achievement
  • Motivation and creativity
  • Mental health
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Overall well-being
  • Monetary compensation
  • Personal value
  • Societal contribution
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