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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graphs below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.
#graphs #change #prices #three #metals #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph gives information on the average monthly
price
Use synonyms
 changes of
copper
Use synonyms
,
nickel
Use synonyms
, and zinc in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage
prices
Use synonyms
 of
nickel
Use synonyms
 reduced
whereas
Linking Words
 those of
copper
Use synonyms
 and zinc fluctuated throughout the 12 months. At the start of the year ,the
price
Use synonyms
 of
nickel
Use synonyms
 was at its highest percentage at 6%
then
Linking Words
 it reduced drastically to
1%by
Correct your spelling
1 by
march
Capitalize word
March
show examples
.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, it stabilized around the same percentage for the next two months before undergoing another sharp decrease to -3% by June. After June ,the
Use synonyms
prices
Fix the agreement mistake
price
show examples
 of
nickel
Use synonyms
 rose back gradually to -1% and remained constant until September. The
last
Linking Words
 three
Use synonyms
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
 of the year experienced a
price
Use synonyms
 increase
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 about 1%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,the
prices
Use synonyms
 of
copper
Use synonyms
 kept on fluctuating throughout the year ranging averagely between 2% and -1%.The highest
price
Use synonyms
 recorded for
copper
Use synonyms
 was 2% which was in the first
month
Use synonyms
. For zinc ,
Linking Words
initially
Add a comma
initially,
show examples
prices
Use synonyms
 rose from 1% to 3% within the first two
Use synonyms
month
Change to a plural noun
months
show examples
then
Linking Words
 steadily declined until the 6th
month
Use synonyms
. The
prices
Use synonyms
 were fairly constant from June to October and later rose gradually
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 2% by the
last
Linking Words
month
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by lucyakol07 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words price, copper, nickel, prices, month with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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