IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows the various stages required to produce coffee products from coffee beans.

The diagram below shows the various stages required to produce coffee products from coffee beans.
The below diagram illustrates the diverse steps needed to produce
coffee
Use synonyms
 goods from
coffee
Use synonyms
 beans.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are 8 steps of the
process
Use synonyms
 starting with the harvesting
process
Use synonyms
 once per year and finishing with the purchasing
process
Use synonyms
 of the
coffee
Use synonyms
 goods.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
coffee
Use synonyms
 beans are harvested by farmers once per year, and
then
Linking Words
 they are processed with the help of
special
Add an article
a special
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 machine. After that, they are laid down under the sun
between
Change preposition
for between
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 24-72 hours to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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dry in order to start the hulling
process
Use synonyms
. Additional machinery is involved in the
process
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
roasting
Add an article
the roasting
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 machine makes
coffee
Use synonyms
 ready in 10-20 minutes to start the packing. Roasted
coffee
Use synonyms
 is packed
with
Change preposition
in
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 paper or plastic bags by pressing, and thanks to
delivery
Correct article usage
the delivery
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 car, all the processed
coffee
Use synonyms
 is sent to different restaurants and cafes to be ready
in purchasing
Change preposition
to purchase
show examples
 different
coffee
Use synonyms
 products.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, process with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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