IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A noticeable lack of students opting for science subjects at universities is observed in various countries. What are the reasons and what are the effects on society?

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In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary world,
students
Use synonyms
 are now avoiding
to enroll
Change the verb form
enrolling
show examples
 in
science
Use synonyms
 subjects at
post gradutation
Correct your spelling
post-graduation
 studies throughout the world. The cost of these studies and
requirement
Correct article usage
the requirement
show examples
 of knowledge to get admmision in
these
Change the determiner
this field
these fields
show examples
field
Use synonyms
 are the two main reasons why youth are lacking their interest
Change preposition
in
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 academics
Therefore
Linking Words
 it is
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
show examples
 the
economy
Use synonyms
 and stability of some
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
. To start with, it is believed that
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
 of the major reasons for the apparent decline in enrollment in
science
Use synonyms
 is the increase of
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
 for these
Use synonyms
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
throughout the world.
Although
Linking Words
 some
students
Use synonyms
 have
capability
Change the article
the capability
show examples
 to
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
succed
Correct your spelling
succeed
 in
these
Change the determiner
this field
these fields
show examples
field
Use synonyms
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
it is the amount of money
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is high and
that is
Linking Words
 lacking their interest
to get
Verb problem
in
show examples
 admission
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 subjects.
For example
Linking Words
 , there is an article published by BBC
news
Capitalize word
News
show examples
 in 2023 that in developing countries 60 percent
Use synonyms
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
get dropped
Wrong verb form
drop
show examples
 their
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
semester
Correct article usage
the semester
show examples
 just because of high
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
 fees even though they have
fully
Change the word
full
show examples
potential to
passout
Correct your spelling
pass
 these subjects with good
marking
Fix the agreement mistake
marks
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there is
Correct article usage
a preception
show examples
preception
Correct your spelling
perception
show examples
 among the
students
Use synonyms
 that in order to enroll
Change preposition
in
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 colleges there is
need
Correct article usage
a need
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 higher knowledge , which creates fear of getting failed and
Add a missing verb
being
show examples
unsuccesfull
Correct your spelling
unsuccessful
 in their
carriers
Correct your spelling
careers
show examples
. On the other side , the consequences of youth not getting admission
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
science
Use synonyms
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
effects
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both society and individuals. Scientists think that
Correct article usage
a gloabal
show examples
gloabal
Correct your spelling
global
 decline in
Correct article usage
the gradution
show examples
gradution
Correct your spelling
graduation
 of
science
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 will lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 decleration technology advancement which will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 the growth of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology. Moving
further
Linking Words
,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 scientists will eventually bring down the
nation
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
economy
Use synonyms
 and stability as if
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 no more innovations , it will become difficult to
get
Verb problem
find
show examples
cure
Correct article usage
a cure
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 any future pandemic .
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 there is an article published in 2020
byBBC
Correct your spelling
by BC
 which illustrates that developing nation has
nore
Correct your spelling
more
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
 to their public and
economy
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of researchers in
scientific
Add an article
the scientific
a scientific
show examples
field
Use synonyms
.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
coclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, excessive amount of
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 one of the main reasons why
students
Use synonyms
 are
getting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
enroll
Change the form of the verb
enrolled
show examples
 in
scienctific
Correct your spelling
scientific
Use synonyms
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
,
having
Correct word choice
and having
show examples
less researcher
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer researchers
show examples
 makes nations weak
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 health care as well. In order to resolve these
isuues
Correct your spelling
issues
 government should step in and
granted
Wrong verb form
grant
show examples
 some
low interest
Add a hyphen
low-interest
show examples
loan
Fix the agreement mistake
loans
show examples
avaiable
Correct your spelling
available
 to those who are
intellegient
Correct your spelling
intelligent
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 these sectors .

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Coherence and Cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more effectively to improve the flow of your essay. For example, using more cohesive devices can help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
Task Achievement
Ensure your examples are more closely tied to the points they support. Providing specific and detailed examples can help enhance the argument you're making.
Task Achievement
Try to expand on your main ideas with more depth and clarity. This includes explaining the significance of your points more clearly to help develop a more comprehensive response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with a recognizable introduction, body, and conclusion.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing reasons and effects, which shows an understanding of the task requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enrollment
  • perceived difficulty
  • lack of exposure
  • higher earning potential
  • technological advancement
  • healthcare implications
  • economic consequences
  • educational reforms
  • inspiration
  • early education
  • job security
  • innovation
  • medical advancements
  • scientific expertise
  • shortages
What to do next:
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