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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of eports in compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of eports in compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.
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The bar graph illustrates the export earnings from 2015 to 2016 in five different product categories ,
while
Linking Words
 the table shows the different changes in values of five product categories namely
petroleum
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
, engineered goods, gems and jewellery, agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 ,and
textiles
Use synonyms
 between 2015 and 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen from the bar chart that
petroleum
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 had the highest percentage of earning
money
Use synonyms
 ,
whereas
Linking Words
 agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 and
textiles
Use synonyms
 had almost the same amount of gain
money
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the table, the agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 and
textiles
Use synonyms
 have a dramatic change in value
on the other hand
Linking Words
 the
petroleum
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 had a mere change in value.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
according to
Linking Words
 the bar graph
petroleum
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 and engineered goods had similar amounts of
money
Use synonyms
 in
both
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 which was around 59-60
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2016 respectively and in 2015
both
Use synonyms
 of the
products
Use synonyms
 stood at 61
billion
Use synonyms
. The most interesting noticeable that agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 had the same earnings of
money
Use synonyms
 in
both
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 with 31
billion
Use synonyms
 in
both
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 ,
while
Linking Words
textiles
Use synonyms
 were around 25
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2015 and 2016 witnessed a slight decline compared with 31
billion
Use synonyms
 in 2016 and 28 in 2015.
According to
Linking Words
 the table,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
petroleum
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 saw a mere change in values of around just 3 per cent in
both
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 ,
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
textiles
Use synonyms
 experienced a significant increase in changing values
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
 15.24 %.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words petroleum, products, textiles, money, both, years, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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