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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below show the consumption of three spreads (margarine, butter, low fat & reduced spreads) from 1981 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below show the consumption of three spreads (margarine, butter, low fat & reduced spreads) from 1981 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #consumption #three #margarine #butter #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart provides information about mass utilization in spreads that consist of
margarine
Use synonyms
, low fat & reduced spreads, and
butter
Use synonyms
 in
grams
Use synonyms
 between 1981 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, with the same starting point, both
margarine
Use synonyms
 and low fat showed a significant decrease with some fluctuation over the period.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
 low fat & reduced spreads increased dramatically.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1981,
butter
Use synonyms
 was a dominant expenditure at above 140
grams
Use synonyms
, being higher than
margarine
Use synonyms
 consumption at below 80
grams
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
,
Butter
Use synonyms
’s consumption rose steadily, reaching about 140
grams
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
Butter
Use synonyms
’s utilization dropped to around 60
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1986. After that,
Butter
Use synonyms
’s consumption rose until 1991, peaking
about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
 120
grams
Use synonyms
 and remained for the next five years before decreasing up to 2007.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
Margarine
Use synonyms
’s expenditure demonstrated a gradual decrease from 1991 till 2007, reaching
at
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
around 58
grams
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, low fat & reduced spreads expenditure started in 1991 after
Margarine
Use synonyms
 and
Butter
Use synonyms
 at about 15
grams
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 it exhibited a remarkable climb, overtaking
butter
Use synonyms
 and
margarine
Use synonyms
, peaking at above 80
grams
Use synonyms
 in 2001.
Although
Linking Words
 it decreased slightly
around
Change preposition
to around
show examples
 10
grams
Use synonyms
 in 2007.
Submitted by sdfitriyanti on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words margarine, butter, grams with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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