: Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people think that outdoor
activities
are better for Use synonyms
children
’s development than playing Use synonyms
computer
Use synonyms
games
. I agree with Use synonyms
this
idea because outdoor Linking Words
activities
help Use synonyms
children
grow both physically and socially
Outdoor Use synonyms
activities
help Use synonyms
children
stay healthy. When Use synonyms
children
run, jump, or play sports, they get exercise. Exercise is good for their body. Use synonyms
For example
, when Linking Words
children
play football, they become stronger. Outdoor Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
also
give Linking Words
children
fresh air and sunshine, which are good for their health
Outdoor Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
also
help Linking Words
children
make friends. When Use synonyms
children
play together, they learn to share and work as a team. Use synonyms
For example
, in a game of hide and seek, Linking Words
children
learn to wait for their turn. Use synonyms
This
helps them build social skills
Linking Words
On the other hand
, playing Linking Words
computer
Use synonyms
games
has some benefits, like helping Use synonyms
children
think faster. Use synonyms
However
, if Linking Words
children
play too much, it is bad for their eyes and health. Use synonyms
Computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
also
make Linking Words
children
spend less time talking to other people
In conclusion, outdoor Use synonyms
activities
are more beneficial for Use synonyms
children
’s development. They help Use synonyms
children
stay healthy and make friends, which are very important for their growth. Use synonyms
Children
should play outside more often than playing Use synonyms
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
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task achievement
Consider providing more balanced arguments by expanding on the benefits of computer games to strengthen your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph effectively links to the next, potentially through more explicit connecting words or phrases.
task achievement
The essay clearly supports a position with relevant reasons, such as health benefits and social skill development provided by outdoor activities.
coherence and cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion that enforce the main viewpoint.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite