Nowadays, many families move overseas for job opportunities. Some people think this is beneficial for the children of these families, while others think children will find it difficult. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#families #move #job #opportunities #people #children

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In the contemporary era, some families choose to migrate abroad in

oder

Correct your spelling

order

to get better employment opportunities.

Although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend is beneficial for children as they can get

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

education

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

knowledge about different cultures, in the opposite direction

this

Linking Words

can be detrimental

for

Change preposition

show examples

children’s mental status and orthodox values. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both the given school of

thoughts

Fix the agreement mistake

thought

show examples

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

followed by my own opinion.

To begin

Linking Words

with, it has a plethora of benefits for

kids

Use synonyms

to move abroad with their parents. First and foremost, they can be exposed

with

Change preposition

show examples

not only diverse cultures but

also

Linking Words

multiple languages. In that, nowadays more and more families around the world are choosing to move overseas .

As a result

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, these immigrants

are meeting

Wrong verb form

meet

show examples

each other and

exchanging

Wrong verb form

exchange

show examples

their

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

values and younger people

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

benefits

Correct subject-verb agreement

benefit

show examples

from it.

For instance

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

one research,

the

Correct article usage

show examples

kid who has been living in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

foreign country has

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

understanding of

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

diverse cultures and languages

Linking Words

then

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

a child who is living in his native country.

Moreover

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, children get the advantage of

decent

Correct article usage

a decent

show examples

education

Use synonyms

system in the

west

Replace the word

Western

show examples

countries, which can prepare them to compete in

this

Linking Words

cut- throat

Correct your spelling

cut-throat

show examples

competition era.

However

Linking Words

, the

supporter

Fix the agreement mistake

supporters

show examples

of the

oppositions

Fix the agreement mistake

opposition

show examples

argue that

this

Linking Words

phenomenon has negative effects on the development of youth. To elaborate, at the early stage of their life ,

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

not easy for them to leave their childhood friends

as well as

Linking Words

relatives behind. Because of

this

Linking Words

, many

kids

Use synonyms

find themselves either isolated or they become aggressive.

For example

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, nearly 35%

younger

Change preposition

of younger

show examples

kids

Use synonyms

reported depression in the year 2022

due to

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migration from their original country.

In addition

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this

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trend can

also

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have another drawback in which

kids

Use synonyms

can lose connection with their moral values

as well as

Linking Words

rituals. In my opinion, I am in favour of the former view because it has more advantages in comparison with

latter

Correct article usage

the latter

show examples

view

such

Linking Words

as better

education

Use synonyms

and exposure

Change preposition

show examples

multiple

culture

Change to a plural noun

cultures

show examples

. It can be eventually commented that migrating

Change preposition

apply

show examples

abroad has positives

as well as

Linking Words

negatives for

kids

Use synonyms

. Though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it has detrimental effects on their developmental growth , it provides better

education

Use synonyms

services

as well as

Linking Words

awareness about different groups.

Submitted by pp86859 on Mon Jan 13 2025

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Grammar

Work on grammar and sentence structure to avoid small errors such as 'in oder' instead of 'in order' and repetitive phrases. Ensure each sentence contributes clearly to the argument.

Coverage

Try to elaborate slightly more on both views, giving more balanced coverage to provide a thorough discussion. This will enhance clarity and comprehensiveness.

Language Use

Using more varied language and complex sentence structures can enhance the sophistication of your writing.

Structure

The essay effectively outlines and discusses both views on the topic.

Organization

You have included an introduction, detailed body paragraphs, and a conclusion, effectively addressing all parts of the prompt.

Task Response

Use of relevant examples like the 35% statistic on depression adds depth and credibility to your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

367 words

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Nowadays, many families move overseas for job opportunities. Some people think this is beneficial for the children of these families, while others think children will find it difficult. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some culture children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disavdantages of giving children this message?

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Some children spend hours every day on their smart phones. Why is this, the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.