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Writing Samples
Band 4

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008
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The bar graphs present the life of the UK
graduates
Use synonyms
 and postgraduates after leaving
the
Correct article usage
apply
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college and did not land a full-time job in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that most of the UK people who earned
bachelors
Change noun form
bachelor's
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Use synonyms
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
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 and
masteral
Correct your spelling
master
 opted to
further
Linking Words
 their studies. Meanwhile, a small proportion of the
graduates
Use synonyms
 prefer to do voluntary
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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. In detail, 29, 665 UK
graduates
Use synonyms
 continued to study for a
Use synonyms
masters
Change noun form
master's
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degree
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 17, 735 did a part-time job in 2008.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there were 16, 235
graduates
Use synonyms
 were unemployed and 3,500 decided to work voluntarily. In terms of the life of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a masters
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masters
Change noun form
master's
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degree
Use synonyms
 holder, 2, 725 decided to
further
Linking Words
 their studies by enrolling in a doctorate class.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there were 2, 535 postgraduates settled on part-time jobs
while
Linking Words
, 1, 625
of
Change preposition
apply
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masters
Use synonyms
 holder were jobless.
In addition
Linking Words
, 345 of
Use synonyms
masters
Change noun form
master's
show examples
degree
Use synonyms
holder
Fix the agreement mistake
holders
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 settle for voluntary work.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, degree, masters with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Graduate
  • Postgraduate
  • Full-time work
  • Further education
  • Part-time work
  • Unemployment
  • Volunteering
  • Traveling
  • Gap year
  • Career progression
  • Job market
  • Transition
  • Academic life
  • Professional sphere
  • Economic factors
  • Social factors
  • Financial crisis
  • Long-term impact
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