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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given line graph illustrates the figure for carbon dioxide emitted by each person in four countries in Europe over a span of 40 years, from 1967 to 2007.

The given line graph illustrates the figure for carbon dioxide emitted by each person in four countries in Europe over a span of 40 years, from 1967 to 2007.
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The line graph illustrates the
amount
Use synonyms
 of carbon dioxide that
released
Add a missing verb
is released
show examples
 from every person divided into four
countries
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 between 1967 to 2007 (units are measured in metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
).
Overall
Linking Words
 , it is evident that
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom had the highest
amount
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 of carbon dioxide compared to the rest
countries
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 ,
while
Linking Words
 Portugal was the lowest country in producing
co2
Correct your spelling
CO2
show examples
emmissions
Correct your spelling
emissions
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 the rest
countries
Use synonyms
considered
Add a missing verb
are considered
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as producing
Change preposition
to produce
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 an average
amount
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 of the co2 per person. In 1967 ,
United
Correct article usage
the United
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States
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 reached approximately 11
tonnes
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 of
co2
Correct your spelling
CO2
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 per person.Starting from 1977 Sweedwn and
United
Correct article usage
the United
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States
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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witnessed
dramatically decreased
Replace the word
a dramatic decrease
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around
Change preposition
of around
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 7
tonnes
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 and slightly under 10 respectively ,
while
Linking Words
 the opposite
was happened
Change to the active voice
happened
has happened
show examples
 to Italy and Portugal they started
increased
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to increase
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 in 1977 to peak at 7
tonnes
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 and 3
tonnes
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 respectively in 1987. Between 1997 and 2007 , both
countries
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 which are
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
States
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 and Sweden had an unnoticeable decline to dip above 8
tonnes
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 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
States
Use synonyms
 and in Sweden under 6
tonnes
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.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 there was a steady increase of
co2
Correct your spelling
CO2
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 in Italy and Portugal
to peak
Change the verb form
peaking
show examples
 at slightly under 8 in Italy , and Portugal had the same
amount
Use synonyms
 of
co2
Correct your spelling
CO2
show examples
 likely to Sweden

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, countries, tonnes, co, states with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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