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Band 5

The diagram illustrates the proportions of students in Britain who have the ability to speak other languages in addition to English from 2000 to 2010.

The diagram illustrates the proportions of students in Britain who have the ability to speak other languages in addition to English from 2000 to 2010.
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The diagram shows the percentage of students from one specific university that can speak any other
Use synonyms
lenguage appart
Correct your spelling
language apart
of
Change preposition
from
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english
Change the capitalization
English
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 in the years 2000 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the statistics illustrate that in the first
year
Add a comma
year,
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 just
a
Correct article usage
apply
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20% of the
undergraduate
Fix the agreement mistake
undergraduates
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 did not speak another tongue.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the majority of them speak Spanish, French and 15% another
Use synonyms
lenguage
Correct your spelling
language
, and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
10% of the students speak German or two other tongues.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 2010 there was an increase
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 those who spoke Spanish, or
anothe
Correct your spelling
another language
lenguage
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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on
Change preposition
of
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 those who know French decreased, and the same happened in the statistics of those who do not know another
Use synonyms
lenguage
Correct your spelling
language
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the percentage in German and
tow
Correct your spelling
two
show examples
 other
tongue
Fix the agreement mistake
tongues
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 stood the same. After taking all details, we can conclude that in both years the second
lenguange
Correct your spelling
language
 that most of the
sudents
Correct your spelling
students
 can speak is Spanish.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words lenguage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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