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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The map below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The map below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#show #area #town #norbiton #future #development #site #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The maps illustrate the change of an industrial area now and
improvement
Correct article usage
an improvement
show examples
plan
Use synonyms
 in the
future
Use synonyms
 in the town of Norbiton.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
future
Use synonyms
plan
Use synonyms
 has been advanced significantly. Many new facilities
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 added to the new ones
such
Linking Words
 as shops and medical
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
show examples
.  The industrial area now has eight different places for factories. There is no other facility
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the map right now. In the
future
Use synonyms
plan
Use synonyms
, all the facilities
has
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
 replaced with housing and other facilities. Playgrounds, shops, and
medical
Correct article usage
a medical
show examples
 centre
has
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 added newly to the advanced
plan
Use synonyms
. The school will be constructed
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the east side of the area and a place for playing will be constructed just before the school and
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the south side of
river
Add an article
the river
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there is a huge difference between the routes now and
future
Use synonyms
. In the
future
Use synonyms
plan
Use synonyms
, a new route will be added toward the river from the square. The routes will be crossed over the river and
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
new housing will be added there.
A
Correct article usage
The
show examples
 size and format will be decreased in the new one.
Submitted by helia on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words plan, future with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • future development
  • main features
  • connectivity
  • residential zones
  • community-focused environment
  • road network
  • accessibility
  • greening
  • parks
  • amenities
  • urban renewal
  • land use
  • infrastructure
  • population growth
  • housing demand
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