In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
owadays
many individuals have to move overseas to find Correct your spelling
Nowadays
jops
Correct your spelling
jobs
leaveing
their families and friends.Correct your spelling
leaving
Although
many people think it carries Linking Words
alot
of Correct your spelling
a lot
difficalties
,Correct your spelling
difficulties
i
Change the capitalization
I
belive
the benefit Correct your spelling
believe
overweight
the drawback by giving space for personal growth.
On Correct your spelling
outweighs
one
Correct article usage
the one
hands
, the major advantages of moving away brings Change to a singular noun
hand
a
new Correct article usage
apply
experineses
and Correct your spelling
experience
experiences
gave
the chance Wrong verb form
gives
for facing
Change preposition
to face
life
in Use synonyms
new
Correct article usage
a new
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
thus
Linking Words
lead
to development and personal growth .Wrong verb form
leading
For instance
,taking Linking Words
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
of
their work, Change preposition
for
accoumidation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
in addition
to Linking Words
safty
that charging them with Correct your spelling
safety
experiencise
.Correct your spelling
experience
experiences
Recent
study found that leaving Add an article
A recent
abroud
Correct your spelling
abroad
for
at least once in human Change preposition
apply
life
would be beneficial Use synonyms
on
the long Change preposition
in
term
which Use synonyms
i
agree Change the capitalization
I
the
most with i believe moving away is a Change preposition
with the
Use synonyms
life changing
Add a hyphen
life-changing
exerience
Correct your spelling
experience
transforme
human to another level in their Correct your spelling
transforms
lifes
and work Correct your spelling
lives
enviroments
eventally .
Correct your spelling
environments
environment
On the other hand
, in many countries it is not an option Linking Words
thus
they Linking Words
forced
to move in Add a missing verb
are forced
Use synonyms
term
of Fix the agreement mistake
terms
provied
Correct your spelling
providing
life
for their families in Use synonyms
hometown
.Correct pronoun usage
their hometown
Furthermore
,the individual could face psychological Linking Words
consiquances
Correct your spelling
consequences
specially
if they Replace the word
especially
attached
to them.Add a missing verb
are attached
For instance
,Linking Words
scientist
found the most section effects Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
by
mental illness are the Change preposition
of
one
away from Correct pronoun usage
ones
relavent
Correct your spelling
relevant
such
as Linking Words
,
depression,Remove the comma
apply
autisum
and Correct your spelling
autism
lonlyness
.
In conclusion , no matter how hard and complex Correct your spelling
loneliness
such
a decision of Linking Words
chossing
Correct your spelling
choosing
travel
outside for Fix the infinitive
to travel
better
, Correct article usage
a better
sutable
occupation , the pros of making Correct your spelling
suitable
stable
this
step in Linking Words
life
will elevate your Use synonyms
consciouse
and Correct your spelling
conscience
boosts
Change the verb form
boost
self - confiedence
.Correct your spelling
self-confidence
Linking Words
Further more
, it will pay off Correct your spelling
Furthermore
on
the short Change preposition
in
term
and Use synonyms
eventally
,will overcome the cons of it for the long Correct your spelling
eventually
term
.
Community’s feedbackUse synonyms
Submitted by youmnamaher91 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the structure of your essay by using clear paragraphs for each point. Connect your ideas logically throughout the essay.
task achievement
Make sure you clearly define your main points and expand on them appropriately, providing specific examples where possible.
language
Review your essays for spelling and grammatical errors which can distract from your argument.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are relatively clear, but try to make your thesis statement and summary more precise.
task achievement
You have included both advantages and disadvantages of moving away for work, showing a balanced perspective.
introduction conclusion
Your essay has an effective introduction and a conclusion which helps to frame your argument.
task achievement
Your ideas show an understanding of personal growth benefits when moving abroad, which adds depth to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.