You have seen an advertisement in the local newspaper for a volunteer position at a hospital. Write a letter to the hospital expressing your interest in applying for the volunteer role. In your letter: Explain why you are interested in this unpaid work. Share any relevant experience you have that makes you a suitable candidate for this position. Mention when you would be available to start volunteering.

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Dear Mom or Sir, I see there is
Correct article usage
an advartisement
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advartisement
Correct your spelling
advertisement
advertisements
in
newspaper
Correct article usage
the newspaper
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to apply
in
Change preposition
to
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your hospital to volunteer, so I am really interested to apply in
this
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
. I am really interested
to
Change the preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
unpaid
work
Use synonyms
because there are some reasons,
for example
Linking Words
: I want to obtain a lot of
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
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and I
am feeling
Wrong verb form
feel
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happy when I help others. One of
experiences
Add an article
the experiences
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that I
have
Wrong verb form
had was
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when I
help
Wrong verb form
was helping
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others who caught
tsunami
Correct article usage
a tsunami
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in Aceh.
I
Add a verb
I am
I was
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proud
to
Change preposition
of
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myself because I did it. It is
a
Change the article
the
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best experience that I have
.
Add a missing verb
had.
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There are
few
Correct article usage
a few
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type
Change to a plural noun
types
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to
Change preposition
of
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unpaid
work
Use synonyms
that I can do
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, like unpair worker to accompany and support of patient
,
Change preposition
as, comforter
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comforter
Add an article
a comforter
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to the patient.
This
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
recommended
Add a missing verb
is recommended
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for people who have a high social potential like me. Usually, I
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
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will get ready
to
Change preposition
for
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this
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
if I have
finish
Change the verb form
finished
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to
Change preposition
apply
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my
worked
Replace the word
work
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and I have spare time to
can
Verb problem
apply
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do it. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Leo Messi
Submitted by akbarsurya264 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to ensure each paragraph conveys a single, clear idea. You have mixed multiple points in the same paragraph which makes it slightly harder for the reader to follow.
task achievement
Include more specific details about your availability and perhaps provide a more structured timeline of when you can start.
task achievement
The tone of your writing is very suitable for a formal letter expressing interest in a volunteer position.
coherence cohesion
Your closing conveys politeness and respect, which is effective for this kind of correspondence.
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