IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

British students at a university in England who could speak languages other than English in 2000 and 2010.

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The
two
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 pie charts illustrate the
percentage
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 distribution of British
students
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 at a university in England who were capable of speaking
languages
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 other than
English
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 in 2000 and 2010.
Overall
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, the proportion of
students
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 who spoke only
English
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 decreased over the decade,
while
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 there were increases in the number of
students
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 speaking Spanish, another
language
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, or
two
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 additional
languages
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. French,
however
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, became less popular during
this
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 period. In 2000, the largest proportion of
students
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 (20%) spoke Spanish, followed closely by those who spoke French (15%) and German (10%). Meanwhile, 10% of
students
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 were able to speak
two
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 additional
languages
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, and another 15% spoke a
language
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 other than these. A significant 30% of
students
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 spoke only
English
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, making it the largest single category. By 2010, the proportion of
students
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 speaking only
English
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 dropped by 5
percentage
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 points to 25%. The
percentage
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 of Spanish speakers grew to 20%, making it the most common
language
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 other than
English
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. The
percentage
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 of
students
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 speaking French and German fell slightly to 10% each,
while
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 those speaking another
language
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 rose to 20%.
Additionally
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, the
percentage
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 of
students
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 speaking
two
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languages
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 increased to 15%.

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coherence cohesion
Consider adding more transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that data comparisons and trends are clearly highlighted to emphasize key points.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and well-organized response to the task, effectively summarizing the key information from the charts.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a good introduction and conclusion, encapsulating the main themes presented in the charts.
task achievement
Examples are relevant and reflect the information depicted in the charts, offering a thorough analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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