IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The process below shows the production of sugar by a German company for supermarkets and restaurants. nazym

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The diagram illustrates the production of
sugar
Use synonyms
 by a German company, detailing the steps involved in transforming
sugarcane
Use synonyms
 into
sugar
Use synonyms
 for supermarkets and restaurants.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process is man-made and linear, consisting of several stages and involving various equipment. It begins with harvesting
sugarcane
Use synonyms
 in tropical regions and ends with the packaging and delivery of
sugar
Use synonyms
. The key stages include juice extraction, filtration, crystallization, and drying.
First,
Linking Words
sugarcane
Use synonyms
 is harvested in tropical regions. The juice is extracted by crushing the
sugarcane
Use synonyms
, after which it undergoes partial filtration to remove impurities and produce raw
sugar
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 raw
sugar
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 is
then
Linking Words
 shipped to Germany for
further
Linking Words
 processing. Once in Germany, the raw
sugar
Use synonyms
 is melted and filtered for complete purification. The resulting
sugar
Use synonyms
 syrup is crystallized into
sugar
Use synonyms
 crystals, which are
then
Linking Words
 dried to eliminate any remaining moisture.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
sugar
Use synonyms
 is packed into bags and distributed to supermarkets and restaurants for consumption.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each stage of the process is connected smoothly. Consider adding transitional phrases to improve flow between stages.
Task Achievement
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to support each main stage of the sugar production process. This might enhance the clarity and relevance of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, detailing each stage of the process clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a solid overview and closing.
Task Achievement
The response is comprehensive, covering all main points of the sugar production process.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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