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Band 6

The bar chart shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canda the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009

The bar chart shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canda the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009
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The pie chart illustrates household spending for five different genres in four different countries in 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 spending on clothing and health care was the lowest
while
Linking Words
 the reverse was true for other categories albeit at varying rates, Focusing on the biggest figures
first,
Linking Words
The number of
people
Use synonyms
 expanding for housing stood out among other genres with the highest in 2009,
Moreover
Linking Words
, 20% of Canadian
people
Use synonyms
 spent on transportation,
whereas
Linking Words
 the figure for Japan was only 10% In 2009, 26% of United States
people
Use synonyms
 spent on their housing,
while
Linking Words
 20% of Canadians spent on clothing. The figure for Japan stood at 25%

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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