IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

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In an era characterized by rapid advancement in the field of technology and artificial intelligence, it has become increasingly common for individuals to buy online as opposed to
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 products in shops and bazaars.
While
Linking Words
 there are clear drawbacks to
this
Linking Words
 approach, I believe that it does more good than harm in terms of
time
Use synonyms
-saving. Critics of online shopping
site
Fix the agreement mistake
sites
show examples
Add a missing verb
have
show examples
various reasons to support their stance. If people purchase different kinds of products, like drinks food ,and clothes, they get
lower quality
Add a hyphen
lower-quality
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
commodities and lose their finances, which can perpetuate poverty.
As a result
Linking Words
, they suffer from financial burdens,
thus
Linking Words
 reducing
overall
Linking Words
 quality of life. In a world where the cost of living is rising dramatically, online shopping is more detrimental than ever before. Despite
this
Linking Words
 argument, I maintain that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 online shops are a positive development. When individuals rely on online shopping to get products, they have the chance to spend less
time
Use synonyms
 buying a variety of things, which can save
time
Use synonyms
 significantly.
This
Linking Words
 can ultimately help them gain valuable opportunities to allocate sufficient
time
Use synonyms
 and energy to their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 hobbies, like family bonding activities ,and meaningful social gatherings, thereby improving personal satisfaction and
overall
Linking Words
 quality of life.
This
Linking Words
 is especially beneficial for people who struggle with hectic schedules and heavy workloads. Using online shopping makes a big difference in terms of effective
time
Use synonyms
 management. In conclusion, the reliance on online shops is more detrimental associated with finances. I believe that it benefits
desreve
Correct your spelling
deserve
 greater attention in terms of
time
Use synonyms
-saving.

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and make the essay flow more smoothly.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, ensure you address both sides of the argument more thoroughly and provide more specific examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the topic and provided both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the issue.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
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