IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Directors of large companies often receive much bigger salary increases than ordinary workers. Employer’s organization say that in a global market this is necessary to attract the best management talent. What are your views? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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In today's society
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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worker
Use synonyms
 gets a
salary
Use synonyms
 budget
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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base
Replace the word
based
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of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their skills and
experience
Use synonyms
. High
post
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 are paid extremely
larse
Correct your spelling
large
 wages that
subodinates
Correct your spelling
subordinates
subordinate
 companies say
that is
Linking Words
 necessary to attract the best management talent. In my opinion, I
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
argues
Verb problem
agree with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement because
topper lavel
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top-level
senior
Fix the agreement mistake
seniors
show examples
 have more responsibilities and
also
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motivating
Wrong verb form
motivate
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 the other
employes
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
 to
do performance
Wrong verb form
perform
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 even harder.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
worker
Correct article usage
the worker
show examples
 industry has various diversity in position and
also
Linking Words
salary
Use synonyms
. people have paid on their
post
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,
this
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peonomena
Correct your spelling
phenomena
phenomenal
 create a healthy
competitin
Correct your spelling
competition
 in
worker
Use synonyms
 everyone
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to
encrease
Correct your spelling
increase
 their position.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when the staff member prefer to high
post
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 they need to take more responsibility than
under
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
worker
Use synonyms
 and that's why they deserve a huge
salary
Use synonyms
.
For example
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,
Correct article usage
an
show examples
IT company's CEO
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 10 to 12
years
Change noun form
years'
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experience
Use synonyms
 and
also
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 they have very tight and responsible
experience
Use synonyms
 for
work
Use synonyms
,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
 1 or 2
years
Change noun form
years'
show examples
experience
Use synonyms
employes
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
have only one
resposibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 for their
work
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
Use synonyms
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 deserve more money for their responsibility.
Secondaly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
, an
atractive
Correct your spelling
attractive
salary
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
work
Fix the agreement mistake
works
show examples
 as a
motivating
Replace the word
motivation
show examples
 for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
to
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 do harder.
In addition
Linking Words
,
top
Correct article usage
a top
show examples
worker
Use synonyms
 position can earn a huge
amound
Correct your spelling
amount
 that's why people be hard
worket
Correct your spelling
worker
work
 that will be
increage
Correct your spelling
increase
increased
comaney
Correct your spelling
company
,s laven in
globale
Correct your spelling
global
 market and
also
Linking Words
atractive
Correct your spelling
attractive
salary
Use synonyms
influenec
Correct your spelling
influence
influences
 their
work
Use synonyms
strenght
Correct your spelling
strength
as a result
Linking Words
thay
Correct your spelling
they
work
Use synonyms
 hard and dedicatedly.
For instance
Linking Words
, one
sarvy
Correct your spelling
survey
savvy
 conducted by
employment
Correct article usage
an employment
show examples
 organisation in the Times of India. the company which
paying
Wrong verb form
pays
show examples
 different
Use synonyms
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 to all employees grow more than 40% than
Correct article usage
the comapny
show examples
comapny
Correct your spelling
company
 that
pay
Correct subject-verb agreement
pays
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 equal amount to all. it is the best way to attract to do ward
work
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I feel that it is important to pay more money for
higher
Add an article
the higher
a higher
show examples
Use synonyms
post
Fix the agreement mistake
posts
show examples
 because of their responsibility and it's
also
Linking Words
 helping to motivate
Use synonyms
Add an article
the worker
show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 to do
work
Use synonyms
heartly
Correct your spelling
heartily
.

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language
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively, providing well-rounded arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Make better use of cohesive devices to create a smoother flow.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your points.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion on the topic, arguing for the necessity of higher salaries for senior positions.
coherence and cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which frames your argument effectively.
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