The diagram shows production of sugar by a German company for supermakets and restaurants. Assel.

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The diagram depicts

performance

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the performance

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sugar

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by a German company.

Overall

Linking Words

, the process is

man made

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man-made

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and there are eight stages, beginning with harvesting and ending with packaging, leading to the final delivery.

Initially

Linking Words

, the production begins with the harvesting of sugarcane in tropical regions.

Next,

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the juice is extracted from the sugarcane using crushers, followed by partial filtration to separate raw

sugar

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This

Linking Words

raw

sugar

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shipped

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is shipped

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to Germany for

further

Linking Words

processing.

Subsequently

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, the raw

sugar

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undergoes complete purification through melting and filtering. The purified liquid is

then

Linking Words

crystallised to form

sugar

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crystals and dried. After drying, the

sugar

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packaged

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is packaged

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for sale. Ultimately, the packaged

sugar

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is delivered to supermarkets and restaurants.

Overall

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

procedure ensures efficient

sugar

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production.

b_aliya_k89Mon Feb 03 2025

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

119 words

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The diagram shows production of sugar by a German company for supermakets and restaurants. Assel.

Are higher taxes or lower taxes better for society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Television as powerful educational tool or mindless entertainment ? What extent do you agree or disagree ?

Some people believe that corporal punishment helps to improve students' behavior, while others think it could be detrimental in many ways. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.