You work for a small company. Your manager has asked you to arrange a party in a restaurant for everyone from your workplace.

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Dear Sir, I am writing to inform you that I have found a training
course
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that will be very useful for our work.
This
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course
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is about deep algorithms and how they can simplify and improve working with databases and servers. The
course
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is being taught by Richard Garriott and other famous experts in
this
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field and will
last
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for five days, from February 17 to 22 and costs 2000 dollars.
This
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course
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will help us reduce the time spent on maintaining the servers;
therefore
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, we could focus more on updates and error correction.
Also
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, it will give me the opportunity to make our games more immersive and increase the level of realism, which is one of the main interests of players and,
accordingly
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, helps increase their number. I would like to request company support in the form of a business trip, with expenses covered by the company. With all
respect
Correct word choice
due respect
show examples
, Artemy Rotari.

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Task Achievement
The introduction clearly states the purpose of the letter, which is good. However, it would be even better if it included a brief mention of the benefits this training could provide to the company as a whole, setting a broader context for your request.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter has a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, but could benefit from a more explicit concluding statement that summarizes the request for support. This would enhance readability and impact.
Task Achievement
While the points made are relevant, they could be supported with more specific examples of how the training has benefited others in similar positions or companies, which would strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The content of the letter is relevant and well-organized, effectively conveying the request for training support in a clear manner.
Task Achievement
The proposal includes specific details regarding the course, such as the instructor's credentials and the duration of the course, which enhance the persuasiveness of your request.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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