In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

educalion

Correct your spelling

Education

plays a

crutial

Correct your spelling

crucial

critical

role in shaping an individual's future, and many people

agure

Correct your spelling

agree

argue

that every young

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

should pursue

Correct article usage

a full

show examples

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

education

Use synonyms

until they turn 18 years old. In my opinion, mandating

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

education

Use synonyms

required

Add a missing verb

is required

show examples

until the age

Change preposition

of 18

show examples

years old. one key

benifit

Correct your spelling

benefit

benefits

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

education

Use synonyms

, it

enhance

Change the verb form

enhances

show examples

knowledge and skills,

education

Use synonyms

teaches children how to overcome

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

show examples

, it will be very useful in

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

day-to-day lives.

Additionally

Linking Words

education

Use synonyms

is not only

Change preposition

about studing

show examples

studing

Correct your spelling

studying

, it

aslo

Correct your spelling

also

includes entertainment and other cultural activities,

geeting

Correct your spelling

getting

Correct article usage

a full

show examples

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

education

Use synonyms

reduce

Correct subject-verb agreement

reduces

show examples

the risk of unemployment and social issue.

now a day

Correct your spelling

Nowadays

show examples

many students leave

education

Use synonyms

take

Verb problem

apply

show examples

drop

Add an article

a drop

show examples

out of school,

Change preposition

show examples

early

Correct article usage

an early

show examples

age. they face serious consequences for getting

job

Add an article

a job

the job

show examples

this

Linking Words

can lead

financial

Change preposition

to financial

show examples

difficlties

Correct your spelling

difficulties

and in some

case

Fix the agreement mistake

cases

show examples

get

involving

Change the form of the verb

involved

show examples

in some

crimal

Correct your spelling

criminal

activates

Replace the word

activities

show examples

, getting

Use synonyms

education

Correct article usage

an education

show examples

we can

also

Linking Words

help them develop

bheviour

Correct your spelling

behaviour

disciplne

Correct your spelling

discipline

and social skills. in my view,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

getting

Correct article usage

a full

show examples

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

education

Use synonyms

provides numerous benefits, shaping children's future and guiding them towards a stable career path.

for example

Linking Words

, in many countries like

germany

Change the capitalization

Germany

show examples

and

usa

Correct your spelling

USA

, they have well standard

educations

Fix the agreement mistake

education

show examples

. there are well-established

vocation

Replace the word

vocational

show examples

traning

Correct your spelling

training

program

Fix the agreement mistake

programs

show examples

that provide students with

hand on

Correct your spelling

hands-on

show examples

exprience

Correct your spelling

experience

such

Linking Words

program

Fix the agreement mistake

programs

show examples

that help students to develop practical

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

vikas234Wed Feb 05 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines the main points you will discuss.

coherence and cohesion

Work on the logical flow of your ideas. Use connectives to show the relationship between your points more clearly, such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'In conclusion'.

coherence and cohesion

Reduce grammatical errors, such as spelling errors and sentence structure, to improve clarity. For example, 'benifit' should be 'benefit' and 'required' should be 'required'.

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear stance that favours full-time education until age 18, which is important for task achievement.

task achievement

You have included relevant examples from countries like Germany and the USA to support your argument, which is a good practice in writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
50
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

209 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people say that Ebooks and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines to what extent do you agree or disagree.
It is argued that ebooks and new technology will completely replace traditional magazines.
7
band
People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Paying taxes to the government has become a controversial topic in the present day, with the idea that citizens should hold all their remuneration for themselves. Other people, including myself, totally disagree with this perspective due to various critical drawbacks, which will be proved in this essay.
7.5
band
Nowadays, parents are allowing their children to use tablets and smartphones to enhance learning. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In today’s era, many parents let their kids use iPads and mobile phones in order to increase their learning abilities. This essay will argue that the advantages do not outweigh the drawbacks.
7
band
Studying the English language in an English-speaking country is the best but not the only way to learn language. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Issues related to education are frequently discussed these days. It is argued that there are many ways to learn the language, but the best way to learn English is to live in countries where normally communicate in English. I firmly agree with this assertion, and this essay will provide further examples and explanations to support my viewpoint.
7
band
In some countries there are more young people choosing to enroll in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
In some parts of the world, there are more people who have chosen to improve their practical skills through hands-on training over academic studying. There are several benefits and downsides accompanied by this standpoint. In this essay, I will evaluate both ups and downsides, before turning to my personal perspective.

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that Ebooks and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspaper and magazines to what extent do you agree or disagree.

People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, parents are allowing their children to use tablets and smartphones to enhance learning. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Studying the English language in an English-speaking country is the best but not the only way to learn language. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enroll in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?