IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graphs below show the subscriptions to mobile and fixed phone lines in four different countries between 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graphs below show the subscriptions to mobile and fixed phone lines in four different countries between 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
A glance at the line graphs given illustrates the mobile and fixed
phone
Use synonyms
 lines'
subscriptions
Use synonyms
 in four different regions, particularly
Eritrea
Use synonyms
,
India
Use synonyms
,
UK
Use synonyms
, and
Uruguay
Use synonyms
, from 2005 to 2015. Based on an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it can be seen that two countries
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
were
UK
Use synonyms
 and
Uruguay
Use synonyms
 most likely to use
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 as their media for communication.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Eritrea
Use synonyms
's
phone
Use synonyms
 subscriber was the lowest region
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to others. From an initial figure, in the past
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 obtained the first position for mobile
phone
Use synonyms
subscriptions
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 around 100
Use synonyms
hundreds
Change to singular
hundred
show examples
 individuals in 2005,
then
Linking Words
 it increased to 110
Use synonyms
hundreds
Change to singular
hundred
show examples
 individuals in 2006.
However
Linking Words
, in the following years, the
amound
Correct your spelling
amount
 of
Use synonyms
UK's
Change noun form
UK
show examples
 mobile
phone
Use synonyms
subscriptions
Use synonyms
 remained stable.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
India
Use synonyms
 and
Uruguay
Use synonyms
 attained the second and third positions in 2005.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, in the next years, these countries grew significantly.
India
Use synonyms
 reached
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
place
Use synonyms
 in 2015
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 around 150
Use synonyms
hundreds
Change to singular
hundred
show examples
 people,
while
Linking Words
Uruguay
Use synonyms
 still achieved
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third
place
Use synonyms
 in 2015
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 around 80
Use synonyms
hundreds
Change to singular
hundred
show examples
 individuals.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Eritrea
Use synonyms
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
 depicted in the
last
Linking Words
 positions from 2005 to 2015. In the next figure,
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 attained the first
place
Use synonyms
 for fixed telephone
subscriptions
Use synonyms
 from 2005 to 2015.
Uruguay
Use synonyms
 depicted
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second
place
Use synonyms
 in
these year
Change the determiner
this year
these years
show examples
. The third
place
Use synonyms
 was
India
Use synonyms
 in 2005
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 around 5
Use synonyms
hundreds
Change to singular
hundred
show examples
 people and dropped in 2015 by around 3%. The
last
Linking Words
 position was
Eritrea
Use synonyms
 in 2005 by around 1
Use synonyms
hundreds
Change to singular
hundred
show examples
 people and increased in 2015 by around 3%. It is interesting to see that in 2015,
Eritrea
Use synonyms
 and
India
Use synonyms
 had the same amount
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 fixed telephone
subscriber
Fix the agreement mistake
subscribers
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words phone, subscriptions, eritrea, india, uk, uruguay, hundreds, place with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "depicted" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 7 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: