IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many cities are investing in public transport systems to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of improving public transportation.

The advent of the modern public
transportation
Use synonyms
 system has changed the way people travel.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 helping to lower traffic congestion in many cities.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many authorities are prioritizing the development of public
transportation
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 trend has many merits and demerits which are elaborated in
further
Linking Words
 essay. Several benefits of investing in transit networks can be put forth. The predominant cause is lower CO2 emissions in the atmosphere. Personal mobility vehicles release the most amount of carbon footprint in our environment. So having a better and
reliable
Correct quantifier usage
more reliable
show examples
transportation
Use synonyms
 network will motivate travellers to use more buses, subways, and street-cars. A perfect example of
this
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 is Toronto’s public
transportation
Use synonyms
 system. Despite having a high number of individuals with high incomes, public
transportation
Use synonyms
 is being used by 70% of the residents daily
due to
Linking Words
 its rapid speed and
24-hours
Correct your spelling
24-hour
 service.
As a result
Linking Words
, despite being the most populated city in Canada, it has below average CO2 emission rate.
However
Linking Words
, the downside of investing more in public
transportation
Use synonyms
 should not be overlooked. The primary reason is that it could significantly impact the personal mobility sector. By using more public vehicles, the demand for cars, and other modes of
transportation
Use synonyms
 will reduce radically, causing loss of employment for many people. The recent automotive manufacturing sector can be considered as a suitable example. Many automakers are shutting down their plants
due to
Linking Words
 less than half of the anticipated growth in newly launched cars.
To conclude
Linking Words
, allocating more resources to improve public transport systems does have advantages as it preserves
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good quality of our precious environment, but
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 above the requirements of plans
could
Correct word choice
and could
show examples
 severely impact the employment of automotive industry professionals.

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Task Achievement
Try to include a more balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages. You present solid points, but you could delve deeper into potential drawbacks.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that you have clear topic sentences that guide the reader through your paragraphs more effectively. This will improve your logical flow.
Task Achievement
Make sure you clearly address all parts of the question in your conclusion, reinforcing both the advantages and disadvantages discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the overall structure.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, particularly with the Toronto public transportation system, which strengthens your argument.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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