In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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While

Linking Words

some are convinced that it is important for all towns and

cities

Use synonyms

to have large public outdoor places

such

Linking Words

as squares and

parks

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as they make the

city

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greener, others think it is unnecessary because public spaces take

Change preposition

up a

show examples

lot of

place

Change to a plural noun

places

show examples

that can be used for advanced infrastructure. I firmly believe that green

areas

Use synonyms

should take a place in all

cities

Use synonyms

or towns because they offer numerous benefits. On the one hand, some individuals think that green

areas

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are important for all

cities

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because the

city

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becomes greener with them.

Firstly

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, green

areas

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that include different types of trees and plants make the air cleaner and healthier.

This

Linking Words

may lead to a significant rise in people living in the

city

Use synonyms

because of

healthy

Replace the word

health

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, in Aktobe, which is a

city

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that is

Linking Words

quite industrial,

parks

Use synonyms

make the air easier to

breath

Replace the word

breathe

show examples

beside the factories that are located in the downtown. Another reason is that outdoor places are interesting because of the Flora and Fauna that

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

these

areas

Use synonyms

healthier.

Consequently

Linking Words

, people of all ages, especially kids and elderly people like to visit

parks

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just for a walk that improves their health.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, green spaces are making the

city

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more interesting for tourists. The main reason is that the majority of visitors are tired of boring buildings or monuments, and they find

parks

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that make the

city

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brighter.

As a result

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, these

areas

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become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

popular

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

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that may attract more visitors.

For example

Linking Words

, the park in the middle of New York is very impressive for many persons around the world and it is the main reason why they visit

this

Linking Words

megacity.

Secondly

Linking Words

, green

areas

Use synonyms

are reducing the noise level,

what

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is important in a big

city

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. Urban industries are very loud and

parks

Use synonyms

are really helpful for soul calm.

For example

Linking Words

, the majority of bloggers chose exactly

parks

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for their videos, because of the low sound level. In conclusion, I strongly support the importance of green

areas

Use synonyms

for all

cities

Use synonyms

and towns because

this

Linking Words

has several benefits including the health of residents and the air quality, making the

city

Use synonyms

more comfortable for visiting or living.

akylov.aFri Feb 07 2025

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Task Achievement

Consider providing more counterarguments to strengthen your position and enhance the depth of your analysis.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure to clearly link your ideas between sentences to improve overall flow, especially in the third paragraph.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively outline your position.

Task Achievement

You provided relevant examples that support your main points, demonstrating good understanding of the topic.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

361 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

relocation
employment prospects
professional development
cultural exposure
isolation
familial relationships
cost of living
career progression
mental health
significant life events
higher salaries
support families
broaden horizons
living standards

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In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be e the consequences of this ?what solution can you offer?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centre or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

In the modern day, with the fast pace of life and other factors, people generally suffer far more stress than they did in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.