IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows distribution of Aaustralian water consumption for last year

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows distribution of Aaustralian water consumption for last year
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The two pie charts illustrate
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
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 of electricity gained by various
energy
Use synonyms
 sources in Scotland
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
twenty years ago and
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
 year.
Overwhelming
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The overwhelming
An overwhelming
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 majority of
energy
Use synonyms
generated
Add a missing verb
is generated
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 by coal regardless of periods of time. There is a notable increase in
demands
Fix the agreement mistake
demand
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of
Change preposition
for
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 nuclear
as
Change preposition
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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energy
Use synonyms
source
Use synonyms
 from 19.6
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 26.4
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the most declined
source
Use synonyms
 is
a coal
Remove the article
coal
a lump of coal
show examples
 went from 41.4
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to 32.7
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Gas
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The gas
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 kept stability in
energy
Use synonyms
producing
Replace the word
production
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 with
tiny
Correct article usage
a tiny
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descend
Replace the word
descent
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 from 22.3
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
21.7
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Hydro natural flow as an
energy
Use synonyms
source
Use synonyms
used
Add a missing verb
was used
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 decently with having
proportion
Add an article
a proportion
the proportion
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 of 8.7
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and
last
Linking Words
 year lowered it to 7.9
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Oil with 2.1
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 being
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 unpopular
source
Use synonyms
 increased in demand to 4
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, leaving behind
hydro pumped
Add a hyphen
hydro-pumped
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 storage
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 2.2
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, source, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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