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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the percentage of the Australian workforce in five industries between 1962 and 2012.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of the Australian workforce in five industries between 1962 and 2012.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph provides information about the proportion of the Australian
workforce
Use synonyms
 in five modes of industry
such
Linking Words
 as
service
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, manufacturing, agriculture,
construction
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, and mining between 1962 and 2012.
Overall
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,
while
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construction
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 and agriculture share the same pattern of decrease, the reverse is true for
service
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 mode, which witnessed a considerable increase throughout the period.
In addition
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, the
construction
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 and mining industries were in the same pattern but at different levels. From the outset,
it is clear that
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 the percentage of
service
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 was the highest among other industries. Starting at 50% in 1962, the
workforce
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 for
service
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 rose significantly over the period, reaching around 80% in 2012. The proportion of the manufacturing
workforce
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 saw a decline from 25%, with a recovery in 1990, to 10%
at the end
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 of 2012.
Furthermore
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, the figures for agriculture halved from 10% to 5% after the five decades from 1962.
Finally
Linking Words
, the proportion of the mining and
construction
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workforce
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, with the former at 2% and the latter at 10% stood at the same level throughout the period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words workforce, service, construction with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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