IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You have just returned from a conference and want to give a presentation to your colleagues.Write a letter to your manager about this. Include What the conference was about your plans for the presentation its impact on your company

Dear Mr .Parker, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter both to inform you about
Correct article usage
the conference's
show examples
conference's
Change noun form
conference
show examples
 subjects that I recently
took place
Verb problem
attended
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 and to ask you to allow me to present these subjects to my colleagues.
Last
Linking Words
 week, I participated in
IT
Correct article usage
an IT
show examples
 conference, which was held in Liverpool for 2 days. At that meeting, artificial intelligence innovations and new technological advances were showcased.
Moreover
Linking Words
, we had several meetings about cyberspace developments. Since our company works with social media innovations and related issues,
as
Correct word choice
apply
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I believe that those contents can have positive influences on our work. We can use those contents in our
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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, which cause have desirable influences on our work. So, it would be better if give a presentation to my colleagues in three sessions, which can
hold
Wrong verb form
be held
show examples
 after working hours. I look forward to hearing a positive reply from you as soon as possible. Yours sincerely, Sadra Majidi

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coherence and cohesion
Consider rephrasing 'conference's subjects' to 'the subjects of the conference' for clarity.
task achievement
Ensure grammatical accuracy throughout, for example, change 'which cause have desirable influences' to 'which can have a desirable influence.'
task achievement
You clearly outlined the purpose of the letter and your request for a presentation.
task achievement
The letter has a polite and professional tone, which is important for workplace communication.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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