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Writing Samples
Band 7

THE BAR CHART BELOW GIVES INFORMATION ABOUT THE NUMBER OF STUDENTS STUDYING COMPUTER SCIENCE AT A UK university between 2010 and 2012. Summarise the info by selecting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 studying Computer Science at a UK university between 2010 and 2012, categorized by gender and residency status (
British
Use synonyms
 home
students
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 and international
students
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).
Overall
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,
British
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 male
students
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 consistently outnumbered their international counterparts throughout the given period,
while
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 the
number
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 of
British
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 female
students
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 was
also
Linking Words
 higher than that of international female
students
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.
However
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, a notable trend is the significant increase in the
number
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 of international male
students
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 in 2012, surpassing the figures for the previous years. In 2010, the
number
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 of
British
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 male
students
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 was approximately 35, nearly double the
number
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 of international male
students
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, which stood at around 18.
However
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,
while
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 the
number
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 of
British
Use synonyms
 male
students
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 showed slight fluctuations, the
number
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 of international male
students
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 saw a substantial rise in 2012, reaching nearly 35, almost equaling their
British
Use synonyms
 counterparts. A similar pattern can be observed among female
students
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, though the
overall
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 figures were lower. In 2010, there were about 30
British
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 female
students
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 compared to roughly 12 international female
students
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. The
number
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 of
British
Use synonyms
 females remained relatively stable over the years,
whereas
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 the
number
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 of international female
students
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 showed a gradual increase. In summary,
while
Linking Words
British
Use synonyms
students
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 consistently outnumbered international
students
Use synonyms
 across both genders, the latter group exhibited a steady upward trend, particularly among males in 2012.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, students, british with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 9 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • breakdown
  • increase
  • decrease
  • stable
  • spike
  • drop
  • percentage change
  • overall
  • noteworthy
  • observations
  • main features
  • comparison
  • relevant
  • highlight
  • significant
  • summarize
  • gender analysis
  • male students
  • female students
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