IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as sahara desert and antartica. what are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists to visit such places.

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Having a year off between finishing school and going to university provides
students
Use synonyms
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
good way to collect their thoughts and find themselves. But
this
Linking Words
 year can have a bad influence on their
life
Use synonyms
; youth who have finished school may have barriers
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 motivation and enthusiasm. There are a lot of advantages and disadvantages to discuss. On the one hand, the graduation break can have a significant impact on your future
life
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, guaranteeing a lot of free time to develop yourself in things that you like.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these holidays may help graduated
students
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 reduce stress and mental issues after eleven years of hard work in school. The gap will help
students
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 become mature, know adult
life
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, and understand social problems.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, an excess of free time can lead individuals to drugs, alcohol, video games, and other bad things.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the promiscuity of free being reduces motivation and determination and puts personality into an abyss. If
students
Use synonyms
 choose to travel or engage in unpaid volunteering, it can be expensive and may require substantial financial planning. Whether a gap year is beneficial or not depends on how it is planned and utilized. If used wisely, it can provide valuable
life
Use synonyms
 experience, personal development, and career clarity.
However
Linking Words
, without clear goals, it can lead to lost time and financial strain.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to substantiate your points, especially regarding both the positive and negative impacts of taking a gap year.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a smoother transition between paragraphs and maintain a clear link between ideas for improved flow and coherence.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively presents the topic and outlines both sides of the argument clearly.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with distinct paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote locations
  • unique landscapes
  • wildlife
  • sense of adventure
  • educational value
  • diverse ecosystems
  • trekking
  • icebergs
  • extreme climates
  • geographical formations
  • personal growth
  • local economies
  • tourist infrastructure
  • environmental and conservation issues
  • physical challenges
  • health risks
  • environmental degradation
  • delicate ecosystems
  • cultural sites
  • sustainable practices
  • pollution
  • equity of access
  • natural wonders
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