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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of male and female
students
Use synonyms
 enrolled in full-time and part-time
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 in Britain across three academic years (1970/71, 1980/81, and 1990/91).
Overall
Linking Words
, part-time
education
Use synonyms
 had the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 in both genders.
While
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of male full-time learners, female full-time learners, and female part-time learners increased over the given period, the
number
Use synonyms
 of male part-time
students
Use synonyms
 fluctuated. Regarding female
students
Use synonyms
, both part-time and full-time enrollments rose. The
number
Use synonyms
 of women in full-time
education
Use synonyms
, which was
initially
Linking Words
 the lowest at just under 200,000, grew to approximately 300,000 by 1990/91. Meanwhile, female part-time enrollment, which started at under 800,000 in 1970/71, surged dramatically to over one million, making
this
Linking Words
 the largest group by the end of the period. For male
students
Use synonyms
, full-time enrollments saw a slight rise from just under 200,000 to over 200,000.
However
Linking Words
, part-time
education
Use synonyms
 showed fluctuations, beginning at one million in 1970/71, dropping to around 800,000 in 1980/81, and
then
Linking Words
 rebounding to nearly one million by 1990/91. Despite
this
Linking Words
 variation, part-time male
students
Use synonyms
 remained the second-largest group
overall
Linking Words
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, students, education with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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