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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of British citizens in
further
Linking Words
 education for both genders from 1970 to 1991,
as well as
Linking Words
 the division of them
according to
Linking Words
 the type of studies.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the total number of men proceeding
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
 education is slightly higher than women.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of
students
Use synonyms
 preferred to be educated in full-time positions. Focusing first on the most popular type of studies, during 1970/1972, approximately 1000
of
Change preposition
apply
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males chose full-time education,
whereas
Linking Words
 throughout the following
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 figure dropped marginally, with nearly 900
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
 gender by 1991. Regarding females, at the beginning of the period, there were 30% fewer women.
However
Linking Words
, during the remaining
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 their number increased significantly, to roughly 1100 female
students
Use synonyms
 by 1990/1991, which was even more than males. As for those
studied
Correct pronoun usage
who studied
show examples
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
, at the very beginning, during 1970/71, nearly 100 and 50 men and women took up part-time positions, respectively.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it was followed by
considerable
Correct article usage
a considerable
show examples
 rise for
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both categories of British, reaching the level of almost 200
students
Use synonyms
 in 1990/1991.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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