IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Average percentages of sodium saturated fats and added typical meals consumed in the USA. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie charts give detailed information about the proportions of
sodium
Use synonyms
,saturated fats and added
surags
Correct your spelling
surges
 in usually eaten food in the USA. From the
overall
Linking Words
 perspective
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat were consumed in large
proportion
Fix the agreement mistake
proportions
show examples
 at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dinner time,
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 huge amount of added sugar was
consisted
Verb problem
included
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 in snacks.
According to
Linking Words
 the
graph
Add a comma
graph,
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 large proportion of
sodium
Use synonyms
 was drunk at dinner time and accounted for more than
two fifth
Correct your spelling
two-fifths
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 that of saturated fat made up
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
. The amount of all three items composed almost the same at the breakfast at half third.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
sodium
Use synonyms
 and
prosessed
Correct your spelling
processed
 fat
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 consumed mostly at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lunch and comprised 29% and 26% respectively. The percentage of added sugar at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lunch and dinner showed nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 features having
4
Correct article usage
a 4
show examples
% difference
between
Correct pronoun usage
between them
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the most amount of added sugar was eaten within the snack at 42%,
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
furthermore,
show examples
 that of
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat made up
little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
 amounts in the snacks

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task achievement
Make sure to provide a clearer overview of the main trends or features from the data presented. This could help the reader grasp the overall significance more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the points made in the essay follow a logical order and are clearly grouped in paragraphs. This will improve the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
Use more specific data to support your points, such as exact percentages when comparing different meals, to enhance clarity and relevance.
task achievement
The essay attempts to describe the data and makes comparisons between the meal types, which is a positive aspect of task achievement.
task achievement
There is a good attempt at summarizing the consumption patterns across different meals, showcasing some awareness of trends in the data.
coherence and cohesion
The basic structure is present, including an introduction and main body paragraphs covering different aspects of the charts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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