IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Water is a natural resource that should always be free. Governments should embargo the sale of bottled water. To what extent do you agree or disagree?.

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Water
Use synonyms
 is an essential liquid in life, which is needed
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
survival
Add an article
the survival
show examples
 of
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
humans, plants, and animals. On that account, it
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
belived
Correct your spelling
believed
 that a ban is needed
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the commercialization of bottled
water
Use synonyms
 by the governments
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since it is a naturally
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
 nutrient. There is no doubt that
water
Use synonyms
 should be made accessible to every individual, but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the restriction of
bottle
Replace the word
bottled
show examples
water
Use synonyms
, because, most tap
waters
Fix the agreement mistake
water
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not safe for drinking,
besides
Linking Words
, taxes are paid by these manufacturers to the government.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, free access to safe drinking
water
Use synonyms
 is an essential fundamental human right. But in reality, most countries
such
Linking Words
 as Malta do not have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
safe drinking
water
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
salty
Correct pronoun usage
its salty
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 taste, probably
due to
Linking Words
 its' location as an island, faces problems with getting access to clean
water
Use synonyms
, as the tap
water
Use synonyms
contain
Change the verb form
contains
show examples
 chemicals,
for example
Linking Words
, lead, which is harmful to
human
Add an article
the human
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 body and has the tendency to cause cancer,
therefore
Linking Words
, the
water
Use synonyms
 cannot
be consume
Change the verb form
be consumed
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
leaning
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
population
Change noun form
population's
show examples
 dependence on commercial
water
Use synonyms
 for
sustainable
Correct article usage
a sustainable
show examples
 life.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the government agencies
also
Linking Words
 benefit from these commercial
water
Use synonyms
 through revenues paid by
water
Use synonyms
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 often used to benefit other sectors,
such
Linking Words
 as health and infrastructure. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
water
Use synonyms
 is
a natural resources
Correct the article-noun agreement
a natural resource
natural resources
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 crucial for the
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
 of mankind, it is important to consider
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
safety before consumption, because some
water
Use synonyms
contain
Change the verb form
contains
show examples
 toxic substances which are not good for the body.

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task achievement
Ensure all main ideas are clearly developed and supported with relevant examples. In your essay, the argument regarding the safety of tap water could be further expanded with more examples or explanations to strengthen your point.
coherence and cohesion
While the structure of your essay is clear, consider using more cohesive devices to link your ideas. For instance, using transition phrases can help clarify the relationship between your points and make your essay flow better.
coherence and cohesion
Check for repetition and make sure that each point you present adds new information to your argument. Some sentences appear to repeat the same ideas, which could be streamlined for clarity.
task achievement
You have successfully identified a significant issue concerning access to safe drinking water, which adds depth to your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively presents the topic and your stance, making your position clear from the outset.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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