In recent years, there has been growing interest in relatiosnhip between eqaulity and personel achievements. Some people beileve that individuals can achieve more in egalatarian socties. Others believe that high level of personel achievements are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

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In recent years, there has been growing interest in

Correct article usage

the relatiosnhip

show examples

relatiosnhip

Correct your spelling

relationship

relationships

between

eqaulity

Correct your spelling

equality

and

personel

Correct your spelling

personal

achievements. Some people

beileve

Correct your spelling

believe

that individuals can achieve more in

egalatarian

Correct your spelling

egalitarian

socties

Correct your spelling

societies

. Others believe that

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

level of

Correct your spelling

personal

personnel

personel

Correct your spelling

personal

achievements

Fix the agreement mistake

achievement

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail

according to

Linking Words

their individual merits Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

m.t.nasseromarFri Feb 14 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure to proofread your essay for spelling mistakes, such as 'relationship', 'equality', 'personal', and 'egalitarian', as they can detract from the overall impression.

task achievement

Ensure each paragraph clearly supports your main argument, and make sure to develop your ideas further for clarity and depth.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points, as this would strengthen your arguments and show a deeper understanding of the topic.

task achievement

You have introduced the topic well and presented both sides of the argument clearly, which is crucial for a balanced discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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1
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

58 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

egalitarian
personal achievement
individual merits
opportunities
collaborative
innovation
creativity
social safety nets
healthcare
unemployment benefits
risk-taking
meritocracy
motivation
competition
potential
advancements
mixed systems
social support

What to do next:

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspaper or books becasueb they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To waht extent do you agree or disagree ?

In some countries, children under 16 years old are not allowed by law to leave school and get full time work. Is this a good or bad thing ? Discuss your opinion

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academy world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared free .