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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts provide information about the number of foreign workers in Japan over a five-year period and compared to other countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The presented bar charts compare the amount of foreign Lauber in
Japan
Use synonyms
 with the proportion of them in three various countries including the US, the UK and Germany during a specific period of time (2012-2016). The first diagram illustrated the number of foreign employers on the vertical axis in millions,
whereas
Linking Words
 the horizontal showed the changes over given years.
In addition
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, the second diagram illustrated the ratios of foreign employers on the horizontal axis,
while
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 the vertical axis represented the countries.
Overall
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,
Japan
Use synonyms
 had a significant growth during that time.
However
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, the highest point was in 2016.
In contrast
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, the US had the greatest percentages of foreign
workers
Use synonyms
.
According to
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 the first graph, it can be seen that, in 2012
Japan
Use synonyms
 had approximately 0.6 million foreign
workers
Use synonyms
. The figure experienced a dramatic rise during the given period to a level of just above 1 million in 2016. By taking a closer look at the second graph, it can be observed that the US took first place in the percentage of foreign
workers
Use synonyms
 with 16.9%, followed by the UK with 11%.
However
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,
Japan
Use synonyms
 had the lowest percentage of foreign
workers
Use synonyms
 with 1.7%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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