the chart shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of diffrent empolemyend status

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The bar chart provides information about the
time
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of
leisure
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for employment
male
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males
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and
female
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females
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is notable that
males
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enjoyed
leisure
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time
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more than
female
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females
show examples
in employed
full
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full-time
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time
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, undeployed and retired
status
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.
While
Linking Words
female did not enjoy their free
time
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in all
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status
Correct your spelling
states
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. The first
status
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is employed full
time
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we can see that
males
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compete female by about 10% more.
Also
Linking Words
, unemployed
males
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enjoyed
time
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more than
female
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females
show examples
around 80%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, retired
males
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had more
leisure
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time
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than
female
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females
show examples
by 90%. It is clear from the graph that
female
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females
show examples
in most
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status
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statuses
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not
having
Wrong verb form
have
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leisure
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times
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time
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in different
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status
Fix the agreement mistake
statuses
show examples
. Female employed
part
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part-time
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time
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had 40% and it continued to increase in unemployed and retired nearly 70%.for housewives it around 45%.you can see from the graph that
males
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disappeared in two statues which are employed
part
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part-time
show examples
time
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and housewives.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, leisure, males, status with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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