IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You work for an international company,and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager.In your letter .explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months .say how your work could be done while you are away .ask for his /her help to arrange it

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Dear Mr jay, I want to inform you that I am going to gain experience with an international company in the head office
I
Correct your spelling
in
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other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 want to work in the head office to pursue my career for half
year
Correct article usage
a year
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 because have no technical skills for technical projects if I have learned these
then
Linking Words
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 apply my industry,
Linking Words
this
Correct word choice
and this
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 knowledge will give us
benefits
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefit
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of
Change preposition
apply
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our team.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,when I
will
Verb problem
am
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 not
be
Verb problem
apply
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there I
wil
Correct your spelling
will
 manage,one of my
colleague
Change to a plural noun
colleagues
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 who
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 do my duty,she
ashured
Wrong verb form
will ensure
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 that she
understand
Change the verb form
understands
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 my position and
also
Linking Words
 my aa work.She is so intelligent and
also
Linking Words
 punctual,
although
Linking Words
,she
do
Change the verb form
does
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 her work properly
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 trust
of
Change preposition
apply
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her.
Moreover
Linking Words
,if you understand my point of view,I can go and one more thing,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 want a favour from you that you
are arrange
Change the verb form
arrange
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 my all trip kindly book my ticket
therefore
Linking Words
 I travel easily. I am thankful for your time and consideration. Yours sincerely, Rabia.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly articulate your motivations for wanting to work at the head office. Elaborating on how this experience will benefit your career and the company can enhance your response.
coherence
Consider improving the organization of your letter by ensuring each paragraph focuses on one main idea. This will enhance clarity and flow for the reader.
coherence
Be mindful of grammar and punctuation, as errors can distract from your message. Take time to proofread your letter to make it more polished.
task achievement
You demonstrated a clear intention to advance your career and contribute to the team, which is commendable.
task achievement
You included a colleague's readiness to take on your responsibilities, which shows forethought and consideration for your work.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professional advancement
  • cross-cultural collaboration
  • headquarters/ head office
  • global perspective
  • remote work
  • temporary assignment
  • team dynamics
  • networking opportunities
  • cultural immersion
  • succession planning
  • collaborative tools
  • time zone coordination
  • corporate hierarchy
  • relocation logistics
  • work-life balance
  • multinational environment
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