IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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A glance at the graph provided reveals the women who participated in senior management between 1975 and 2015 in three different companies. The bonus of
Elden
Correct article usage
the Elden
show examples
 group kept on increasing constantly
while
Linking Words
 the chunk of
Bamforth
Correct article usage
the Bamforth
show examples
 community increased.
Also
Linking Words
, the fee of Finsbury fluctuated over the years.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the Eldon kick off with 14 % in 1985 . Following that, it increased over time, reaching 28%, 33% and 64% respectively between 1985 to 2015.
Likewise
Linking Words
, women from Bamforth started at 1% less than Eldon in 1985, which
then
Linking Words
 it
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
rises
rise
 15% in 1990, it increased to 2% higher than the
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the year 1990, sitting at 17% and ended up at 46%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the women who worked as senior management in Finsbury started with 15% which is the largest rate of the year 1985.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it climbed by 7% higher than the bonus 5 years ago, it raised over the years to 20% and 26% respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, between 1975 and 1980 the rate of
Elden
Correct article usage
the Elden
show examples
 band
kept on
Verb problem
apply
show examples
remained constant at 3%
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of
Bamforth
Correct article usage
the Bamforth
show examples
 group increased from 9% to 11%.
Also
Linking Words
, the chunk of Finsbury decreased by 2% from 16% in 1975.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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