IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You recently stayed in a hotel in a large city. The weather was very unusual for the time of year and the heating / cooling system in the hotel was quite inadequate. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter: give details of what went wrong explain what you had to do to overcome the problem at the time say what action you would like the manager to take

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Dear Sir or Madam, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well. I am writing to you in order to express my dissatisfaction during my stay in
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 'Beach Villa'. The heating in my room wasn't functioning well
due
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
and
as a result
Linking Words
 of
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 the room was very cold which was very difficult to manage
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 during
this
Linking Words
 winter season. I spoke to the staff regarding
this
Linking Words
 but nobody bothered to fix it .
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 I had to get a mini heater for me to keep myself warm which was an extra expense on my pocket. It would be better if you take adequate steps and get the system fixed at your earliest convenience. I would
also
Linking Words
 appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
show examples
 you could compensate me for the mini heater I
ahd
Correct your spelling
had
 to purchase. Looking forward to hearing from you. Your's
faithfully
Replace the adverb
faithful
show examples
, Megha Shetty

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task achievement
Make sure to address the hotel by its correct name to provide a clearer reference in your letter.
coherence and cohesion
Try to provide a more structured flow by introducing each point clearly at the beginning of the paragraphs and ensuring smooth transitions between them.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using a more formal closing, like 'Yours sincerely' instead of 'Your's faithfully' to align with standard practices in formal letters.
task achievement
You effectively described the problem with the heating and how it affected your stay, which demonstrates good task achievement.
task achievement
The letter maintained a polite tone throughout, making it suitable for formal correspondence.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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