In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks.

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In
modern
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the modern
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era
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era,
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there is a trend of
looked
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looking
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over the individual’s
activites
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activities
by higher
autorities
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authorities
,
as a
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result
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result,
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the use of cameras in common places in many cities has become
normalize
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normalized
show examples
in order to combat crime,
Whereas
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a fraction of people argue that
this
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practice
limit
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limits
show examples
the free will of the mankind.
Eventhough
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Even though
this
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security principle offers many drawbacks
such
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as,
Correct article usage
an indivudal’s
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indivudal’s
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individual’s
privacy
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has
effected
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affected
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and
potential
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the potential
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of missusing
the
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
privacy
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private
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data
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, it offers wide positive impacts
like
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as
show examples
,
the
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apply
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criminal activities can be mitigated and potential accidents can be avoided.
This
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essay will discuss both the pros and cons in detail of
this
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phenomenon and will illustrate how the advantages
are outweigh
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outweigh
show examples
its drawbacks.
In
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On
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one
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the one
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hand, by watching over a
one
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apply
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person
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person's
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behaviour, the authorities grant access to collect the personal
data
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and there is
a
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apply
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no
gurantee
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guarantee
that the
data
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is secured because all the institutes are led by human
being
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beings
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and they can easily manipulate those
data
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for their
befinit
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benefit
.
Furthermore
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, it
also
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effects
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affects
show examples
to
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
privacy
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and
that
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apply
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restrict
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restricts
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the freedom of
the
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apply
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personel
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personnel
due to
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that everyone would not be able to enjoy the very moment
the
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they
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are passing. To cite an example a
survay
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survey
conducted by BBC
news
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News
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reveals that 30% of china citizens
has
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apply
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been suffering from depression in 2025 and the percentage of that number was only 5% in 2020, they
futher
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further
describe that the government has
introduce
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introduced
show examples
a CCTV program
through out
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throughout
show examples
the county to enhance security in 2020 and experts mention that
this
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program has effected the most for
this
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numbers.
This
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highlight
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highlights
show examples
the negative impact of
this
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practice towards the public.
On the other hand
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,
this
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action
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allows to proact toward the potential accidents because when every populated
regions
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region
show examples
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is
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are being watch
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are being watched
are watching
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it is easy to spot
a a
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an
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upcoming crime incident so once triggering
that
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apply
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even
the
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apply
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law
enforcment
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enforcement
can take necessary
action
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to overcome that.
Additionally
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when the public
know
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knows
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the fact that they are being watched
in
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apply
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everywhere
thay
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they
Add a missing verb
are reluctend
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reluctend
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reluctant
to perform a criminal activity because they know if they do
a
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apply
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such
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activity it will identified by the police without any difficulty. To
further
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illustrate that British police
has
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apply
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conducted
a
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an
show examples
experiment by placing
a
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an
show examples
office for 24 hours in a public park and see what is the
imact
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impact
of doing so, interestingly, the results
shows
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show
show examples
that the number of
complain
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complaint
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has
been
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apply
show examples
declined to 3 and they
further
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describe that
usually
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usually,
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they are getting at least 10
complaines
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complaints
companies
complains
per day in that specific location.
Hence
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,
this
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demstrate
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demonstrate
demonstrates
the positive impact of
this
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action
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.
To conclude
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,
although
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looking over the public by
upper
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the upper
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hand
have
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has
show examples
many
disadvantagus
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disadvantages
such
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as
privacy
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data
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has a thread of
leeking
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leaking
seeking
out
and
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any
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person’s
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a person’s
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activities become
effected
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affected
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, these
impact
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impacts
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are overcome by the positive effects by not only
from
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apply
show examples
allowing access to proact on accident that might
be happen
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be happening
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in the near future
,
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apply
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but
also
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spreding
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spreading
the fear of
being punish
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being punished
show examples
upon any
action
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which
disobey
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disobeys
show examples
the law.
Therefore
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, every government should take necessary
action
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to facilitate cameras in their common areas to mitigate
those kind
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that kind
those kinds
show examples
of activities.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the structure of your paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting details follow logically.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your work for grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, as they can distract from your argument.
task achievement
Include more specific examples that clearly illustrate your points, as this will enhance the clarity of your ideas.
task achievement
You effectively presented both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
task achievement
The overall argument is coherent, and the essay addresses the prompt directly, considering both advantages and disadvantages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Surveillance cameras
  • Public safety
  • Deterrent
  • Evidence collection
  • Apprehend perpetrators
  • Public spaces
  • Invasion of privacy
  • Civil liberties
  • Abuse of power
  • Misuse
  • Cost implications
  • Monitoring
  • Maintenance
  • Essential services
  • Justice system
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