A restaurant has advertised in a newspaper that a waiter/waitress in required for evening work. it has also been mentioned that perspective candidate should have some experience. - Describe your previous experience - Explain why you would suitable for the job.

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Dear Mr. Moore I have read an advertisement
on
Change preposition
in
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local
Add an article
a local
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news article that your restaurant is hiring
Correct article usage
an
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experienced waiter. I would like to apply for
this
Linking Words
position
according to
Linking Words
my experience and personal qualities I am
perfect
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the perfect
a perfect
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candidate to fulfill
this
Linking Words
criteria. Recently, I
am
Wrong verb form
have been
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studying
hotel
Correct article usage
a hotel
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management course at Concordia University. I have both theoretical and practical knowledge in
this
Linking Words
field. I have six
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
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experience
Change preposition
of experience
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as a
sever
Correct your spelling
server
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and baker at Tim Horton's restaurant. My previous
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
improve my expertise in food preparations and customer services. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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my personal abilities, I have
very
Correct article usage
a very
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calm and respectful personality, which I believe that it is more beneficial to handle
high
Add an article
a high
the high
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amount of rush and control kitchen pressure. Needless to say, all my experiences and skills would allow me to set in the vacancy at your restaurant. I
looked
Wrong verb form
look
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forward to seeing you soon. Yours Sincerely, Vairag.

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task response
The introduction could be clearer with a brief statement about your interest in the position. Also, ensure the job title aligns with the advertisement ( waiter/waitress instead of experienced waiter).
coherence and cohesion
Try to use connecting words and phrases to improve the flow between ideas, such as 'firstly', 'in addition', etc.
task response
In your conclusion, it is better to use a more standard closing remark for a job application, such as 'I look forward to the opportunity to interview'.
task achievement
You provided relevant experience and explained your personal qualities effectively, which showcases your suitability for the job.
task achievement
Your background in hotel management demonstrates a good foundation for the position you are applying for, enhancing your profile.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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