IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The graph below shows the percentage of the Australian workforce in five industries between 1962 and 2012.

The graph below shows the percentage of the Australian workforce in five industries between 1962 and 2012.
The diagram below demonstrates the proportion
alter
Verb problem
of change
show examples
 in the exchange of foreign
students
Use synonyms
 among
university
Use synonyms
 graduates in various Canadian provinces in the period from 2001 to 2006.
According to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 graph,All universities increased
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
 during
this
Linking Words
 time.New Brunswick is
Use synonyms
university
Add an article
a university
the university
show examples
 that had
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 proportion of
students
Use synonyms
,and the
university
Use synonyms
 which had
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
show examples
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of foreign
students
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 Ontario in 2001 and 2006.
in addition
Linking Words
,We already know universities increased a certain amount of international
students
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
,British Columbia is the only
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 which doubled
his
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 result.
Only
Correct article usage
The only
show examples
 three universities that
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
more
Change preposition
by more
show examples
 than 10
percents
Fix the agreement mistake
percent
show examples
 is Nova Scotia,New Brunswick and British Columbia.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, university with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • workforce
  • sector
  • decline
  • increase
  • transition
  • trend
  • innovation
  • efficiency
  • service-oriented economy
  • outsourcing
  • global trend
  • expanding
  • fluctuating
  • urban expansion
  • infrastructure development
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