IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts give information about two genres of TV programmes watched by men and women and four different age groups in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts give information about two genres of TV programmes watched by men and women and four different age groups in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The presented bar chart represents the percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality and game shows seen
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 various
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
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 and
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
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. In the big picture, it is conspicuous that
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 more
attractive
Replace the word
attracted
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on
Change preposition
to
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 watching reality shows than
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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,
however
Linking Words
, there
was
Change the verb form
were
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 no different numbers between men and women who watched
games
Change the noun form
game
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 shows.
In addition
Linking Words
,
reality
Add an article
the reality
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 show was the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
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 program for the elderly. Turning to the
games
Fix the agreement mistake
game
show examples
 shows, both men and women had the same level of
audiences
Fix the agreement mistake
audience
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 at around 60%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, more than 45 years old individuals
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the highest viewers in
this
Linking Words
 observed period at 70%, followed by 16-24 age people at 50%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there was less than 50% of the competition video consumers
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
aged 25-44.
Moreover
Linking Words
, talking about gender in the remained program, there was a 50% higher number of females watching
this
Linking Words
 program than men did.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the lowest statistics was
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the youngest watchers,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
contributing a half. The more viewer age was, the more shows were seen.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 6 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • viewership
  • genre
  • preference
  • demographic
  • age group
  • percentage
  • comparison
  • trend
  • balanced interest
  • inclination
  • significant difference
  • overwhelmingly
  • predominantly
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