IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The chart below shows the different levels of post school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999.

The chart below shows the different levels of post school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart details the
post school
Add a hyphen
post-school
show examples
 qualifications among males and females in Australia in 1999. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective , it is readily apparent that the
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 mostly qualified
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 skilled vocational
Use synonyms
diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
show examples
. Regarding the
females
Add a comma
females,
show examples
 the highest percentage of them had
undergraduat
Correct your spelling
undergraduate
Use synonyms
diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
show examples
. The female who
recevied
Correct your spelling
received
skilled
Correct article usage
a skilled
show examples
 vocational
deploma
Correct your spelling
diploma
 was 10% .
Linking Words
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 contrast , the male was 90% of them
had
Verb problem
received
show examples
skilled
Add an article
a skilled
show examples
 vocational
diploma
Use synonyms
 and was very favourable among them in 1999. Most of the
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 had undergraduate
Use synonyms
diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
show examples
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 70%, which was the opposite
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
consider
Wrong verb form
considered
show examples
 the lowest qualification among them
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
approximately 35% differences. Regarding the
bacheolar
Correct your spelling
bachelor
 degree
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
nearly
Add a missing verb
were nearly
show examples
 the same in percentage by 50% and 45% , respectively. For the
master
Change noun form
master's
show examples
 degree on the
survey
Add a comma
survey,
show examples
 male
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 higher by 30% over
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 .on a final note of
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the highest in all
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
 except
Correct article usage
the undergarduate
show examples
undergarduate
Correct your spelling
undergraduate
diploma
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words diploma with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: