IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
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The bar chart illustrates the amount of money
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
allocated
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 fast food each week in Britain.Meanwhile, the line graph shows the trends
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 fast food
consumption
Use synonyms
 from 1970 to 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the bar chart that
hamburger
Use synonyms
 meals represented the highest income in 1990. Meanwhile, pizza
consumption
Use synonyms
 was the lowest in the beginning of 1990. The income of
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom
on
Change preposition
from
show examples
 fast food in 1990
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significantly increased per week on
hamburger
Use synonyms
 meals. It reached around 40%.
Also
Linking Words
, the average group funds
shaped
Verb problem
spent
show examples
 30 weekly on
Use synonyms
hamburger
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburgers
show examples
 and 25%
through
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
 a week on fish and chips.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in 1970,1975,1980,1985 and 1990, both fish, chips and
hamburger
Use synonyms
 were slightly decreased in total
consumption
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, British people preferred
ate
Change the verb form
to eat
show examples
 pizza in starting 1970.But, after 1980, the number of people in Britain decreased
on
Change preposition
from
show examples
 eating pizza .
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Hamburger
Use synonyms
 fish and chips
consumption
Use synonyms
had been
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 increased significantly since
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1975 .And they climbed dramatically in 1990.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, hamburger with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Expenditure
  • Fast food
  • Income groups
  • High-income
  • Low-income
  • Medium-income
  • Hamburgers
  • Fried chicken
  • Fish & chips
  • Consumption
  • Trends
  • Significant increase
  • Decline
  • Popularity
  • Spending patterns
  • Consumption trends
  • Lifestyle
  • Preferences
  • Prices
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