Men are placed in the most high-level jobs. some people say that the government should encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
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period of
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modernity
mordernity
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mordernity,
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few people say that
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government
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the government
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should uplift a certain percentage of high-level
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jobs
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job
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positions to be reserved for
women
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rather
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then
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than
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men.
Whereas
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, authority had already mentioned equal rights for
women
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and giving them
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the oppourtunity
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oppourtunity
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opportunity
to work. In my opinion, I strongly disagree with
this
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notion and my opinion will be discussed in
further
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paragraphs with a suitable conclusion. Supporting my disagreement
to
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with
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given
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the given
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statement, I firmly believe that
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the goverment
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goverment
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government
sector
had
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has
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already started providing high-level
jobs
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to
women
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based on their
qualification
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qualifications
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rather
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then
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than
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men. To cite an
exmple
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example
, a recent
government
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survy
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survey
shown
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showed
has shown
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that 50 per cent of
women
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in India are placed as IPS and RAS designation.
Moreover
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, governing
bodys
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body
bodies
has
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have
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also
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started
variours
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various
programs to educate
women
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for
top-
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top job
show examples
jobs
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positions. Explaning some of the
another supporting points
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another supporting point
other supporting points
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in
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apply
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against
this
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statement, many
women
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are working as
teacher
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teachers
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and principle in
government
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schools earning well income and
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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had
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has
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introduced new
policys
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policies
policy
related
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to women
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women
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women's
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work.
Authories
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Authorizes
is
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are
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giving equal
opportunity
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opportunities
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to work as compared to men. For
instence
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instance
,
Indian
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the Indian
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government
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launched multiple
schmens
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schools
and
women
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can
enroll
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enrol
show examples
in
that
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them
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to get high-level
jobs
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. In conclusion,
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the govenment
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govenment
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government
had initiated high-level
jobs
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for
women
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already. They are getting placed
at
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in
show examples
top positions. I believe that
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
show examples
points are
srtrongly
Correct your spelling
strongly
supporting my
view point
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viewpoint
show examples
.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to use a clearer structure in your essay. Start with a clear introduction that outlines your main points, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on one idea, and conclude with a strong conclusion summarizing your points.
language accuracy
Make sure to proofread your work for spelling and grammatical errors. For example, 'mordernity' should be 'modernity' and 'oppourtunity' should be 'opportunity'. Incorrect spellings can affect your score.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or data to support your arguments. For instance, when you mention that women earn a well income as teachers, it would strengthen your argument to provide statistics or studies to back this up.
task response
You present a clear position of disagreement with the idea of reserving jobs for women, which is a good way to start your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction sets a clear agenda for your essay, indicating that you will discuss your opinion and conclude it, which helps guide the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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