IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The percentage of electricity production by fuel source in France in 1990 and 2010

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The pie charts illustrate the percentage of
electricity
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 generated from five different fuel sources in France in 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, nuclear
power
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 became the most used source of
electricity
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,
while
Linking Words
 the share of coal, natural gas, oil, and
hydro
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hydropower
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power
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 decreased. In 1990, coal and natural gas were the most common sources, each making up 28% of
electricity
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 production. Oil was the third-largest, accounting for 22%. At the same time, nuclear
power
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 was much lower, at only 17%, and
hydro
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hydropower
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power
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 contributed the smallest share, just 6%. By 2010, nuclear
power
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 had increased a lot, reaching 67% of total
electricity
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 production. Meanwhile, coal and natural gas both dropped to 13%. The use of oil fell sharply to only 2%,
while
Linking Words
hydro
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hydropower
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power
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 declined slightly to 4%.

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task achievement
Consider adding more detailed comparisons between the percentages over the years.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more varied linking words to enhance the flow between ideas.
positive
The introduction clearly states the main topic and provides a good overview of the changes.
positive
Specific data points are well presented, supporting your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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